I don’t know what it is. The planets are in some kind of black alignment, my electrolytes are all wrong, I slept on the wrong side of my face. I am just ready to kill and eat anyone who gets in my way today. I’m trying to pick an appropriate soundtrack, but one can listen to only so much Godspeed before it gets embarrassing.

In a perfect world, I would stay home today and smoke trees while watching Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood and The Joy of Painting. Maybe that’s what it is. All the saints of my secular childhood are dead.

I just remembered I have to see my family later—and they so do not deserve this cliff of indifference I have for a heart today.

My condolences to those around me who cannot avoid spending time with me today. I really have no idea what it is. If it’s any consolation, at least I’m on your side.

All that blood sacrifice stuff the Mayans did makes sense on a day like today. “A snake will eat the sun unless I cut out your heart.”

There, that should probably drive off the handful of people who still read this thing. Aren’t you glad I’m posting more?